Giancarlo Stanton Devours a Kit Kat in a Way That Defies All Logic

Giancarlo Stanton is unlike millions of us because he can crush a baseball. He's also unlike millions of us because he has no idea how to eat a classic American snack.

The Miami Marlins slugger was caught by teammate Dee Gordon mangling a Kit Kat (note the somewhat NSFW language). Gordon showed the world just how Stanton chooses to eat the candy bar:

Gordon was hardly the only one up in arms over Stanton's unorthodox eating methods. Twitter went wild with people bashing him harder than he bashes baseballs:

Stanton may soon be treated to a crash course in the Kit Kat consumption etiquette. ESPN's Darren Rovell reports the company sent him hundreds of bars to scarf down, as well as a guide on the proper way to enjoy them.

Because if there's anything a baseball star who's 13-year, $325 million contract that's the richest in sports history needs, it's free stuff.